I was
thinking of my baby girl a lot yesterday as I was watching the snow fall and
realizing the holiday’s we’re approaching more quickly than I’d like. Most
people love the holidays, unfortunately holidays are different for me now as it’s
a painful reminder that Tenley can’t be here to celebrate with us. Then a
random thought popped in my head and I’m not sure where it came from but I was
like watching a video of us releasing butterflies at Tenley’s funeral and it
felt like I was in a dream and I looked at Louie and told him we we’re letting
our daughter go at that moment, we we’re symbolizing her spreading her wings and
going on in her life on her own journey. I immediately burst into tear knowing my
little girl was trying to remind me that I “set her free that day” to go on to
do amazing things and wait for her mommy and daddy. I just kept replaying that
moment of those butterflies flying straight to her casket and then flying away
and in a way I think they we’re going to get her and show her the way (like
they we’re other family members she’s with and they we’re showing her how to
spread her wings and fly with them). I can’t help but continue to replay that
in my head and it brings a smile to my face because I think she is here trying
to remind me during the holidays that she’s okay and happy and she wants me to remember
that she’s flying around and she wants that to make her mama happy. I love you
Tenley Grace xoxo
Sunday, November 11, 2012
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