Butterflies and holidays

                I was thinking of my baby girl a lot yesterday as I was watching the snow fall and realizing the holiday’s we’re approaching more quickly than I’d like. Most people love the holidays, unfortunately holidays are different for me now as it’s a painful reminder that Tenley can’t be here to celebrate with us. Then a random thought popped in my head and I’m not sure where it came from but I was like watching a video of us releasing butterflies at Tenley’s funeral and it felt like I was in a dream and I looked at Louie and told him we we’re letting our daughter go at that moment, we we’re symbolizing her spreading her wings and going on in her life on her own journey.  I immediately burst into tear knowing my little girl was trying to remind me that I “set her free that day” to go on to do amazing things and wait for her mommy and daddy. I just kept replaying that moment of those butterflies flying straight to her casket and then flying away and in a way I think they we’re going to get her and show her the way (like they we’re other family members she’s with and they we’re showing her how to spread her wings and fly with them). I can’t help but continue to replay that in my head and it brings a smile to my face because I think she is here trying to remind me during the holidays that she’s okay and happy and she wants me to remember that she’s flying around and she wants that to make her mama happy. I love you Tenley Grace xoxo