New beginnings

Well thanksgiving came and went and I cant lie it was like I could stop holding my breath and calm down. I hated it this year I hated going to visit my daughter in the cemetery instead of her enjoying it with family. Life was supposed to be so different right now. I was supposed to have a baby girl and starting my family but that all got flipped upside down. Now I'm back at square one with no baby no boyfriend.
I also moved my stuff out of the house this weekend. It was refreshing it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. It was like life was on hold until I could get my stuff and be able to start life again. I have to say it was the best I have slept since Tenley passed. I realize how much stress was in my life I was trying to push something that just wasn't meant to be. I was putting on a front for everyone pretending I was doing great and I was happy. I was trying to make someone love me who just didn't want to love me the way I deserved.
I've been through hell and back this year. Its been full of ups and unforgettable downs. In the end though I have to remember this is going to make me 100 times stronger.
In the end all the struggles I've been through this year have made me the strong person I am today.